ENOUGH TO DRIVE BRIGG FOLK TO DRINK

Apologies to sundry town licensed premises that Brigg Blog failed to make a contribution to your profits last night (Saturday).
After a difficult six-day week, a hot bath and a read through the many sections of the Daily Telegraph we just couldn't summon the energy to venture out into the cold to walk into the town centre.
Our reward, if we can call it that, was so-called prime time TV, which included:

• A man who had a small part in The Full Monty (titter ye not!) starring in a dull drama about ancient Greece. 
• The X Factor - minus Bottesford's Jake Quickenden, who went on to find fame as runner-up on I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. Unfortunately for us, this was an extended version of the talent show which is nearing its conclusion.  Thank heavens!
• The usual collection of mishap victims on long-running hospital series Casualty, set in a town where the life expectancy must be the lowest in the UK, and its residents the most unlucky and accident prone. However, Constable Alf Ventress (from Heartbeat) proved to be a notable exception. Last time we saw him on the goggle box he  was in his 60s during the late 1960s but he didn't look a day older in Casualty 2014.   

Last, and perhaps least, came the once much-loved Match of the Day - highlights of top-flight games already covered in depth by a wide range of media and social media.  If you don't want to know the results, hide away in a darkened room for 8 hours every Saturday. The pundits made much of some heavy tackles - none of which would have made the Top 100 of players like Chopper Harris, Peter Storey and Norman Hunter when football was still a contact sport.
Next time there's cold weather on a Saturday night we will remember what the brave Captain Oates did and head off to Brigg pubs, saying: "I may be some time."
PS Does anyone know at what point in his life Jacob Quickenden became Jake?